Drowning the Pain
by Ggeri Sminth
Summary: The only thing that Connor can think of doing now is going home and getting drunk, and I mean really drunk. All he want's to do is forget, forget that he ever might have loved Oliver. Sequel to "This is Goodbye"


In case you haven't noticed I am not following the story line of the tv show, with that I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Connor stumbles home, he is well enough that he could drive himself home, really Wes didn't need to worry. Yet Wes wanted to worry. He wasn't all that sure what had gone on with Oliver and Connor but he knew that it wasn't something good. Connor looked so damn broken. He looked like he was just going to fall over and die. If anything it would be best of him to make sure that the man got home.

So Wes goes with Connor and he gets him home, but just like that he is thrown out. Connor will have nothing to do with him, saying something along the lines of, 'This is all your fault.' Wes isn't all that sure if he really means that or if he is just so upset that Wes is the only person that he seems be able to lash out.

As the door slams in Wes's face Connor finally lets himself really, truly feel. He needed to get drunk, really, really drunk. He slanders over to his liquor cabinet and pulls out some scotch. The faster he gets drunk the fast he can forget the feel of Oliver's fingers on him. The faster he will pretend he isn't seeing the Pizza man, what his name touching his Oliver.

_His breath is coming out in sharp pants as the man grinds up against him. They are at one of those wonderful clubs, and have been there for a couple of hours. One look and everyone knows that they are going to go home and fuck, maybe even like bunnies. And there is no denying it they look like a cute couple._

_When anyone asks, yes they are together and they are so happy. Oliver smiles his goofy grin and the man, Robert, smiles back. Robert is a bit taller that Oliver but he isn't built as much, that doesn't matter they complete each other and everyone can see it._

Connor grimaces at his thoughts, they did look like a good couple, even he noticed that when he first met the pizza guy. Connor takes his bottle of Scotch and sits down on the couch. He opens it and takes a long swig of it. The liquor burns all the way down his throat and it is a welcoming sensation compared to his horrid thoughts. He takes another swig and tears begin to fall down his eyes. He had really messed up this time.

He had messed up so bad that he was left alone once again. He was abandoned and shoved aside. The first time it was to do with the way he looked, Connor laughed, more like who he was. He could still remember that day clearly.

_He thought he loved the man, he was so happy, giddy, but that would all come to a stand still with in a matter of seconds. It would all come to a stand still with a few words. 'You were just a dare, a score. You mean nothing to me.' Connor shouldn't be surprised, he had thought it was weird that a popular student would even want to go out with him. He had been foolish and thought that maybe he was being loved back. Nope that wasn't at all what happened. _

_So Connor stood there heart broken looking at the man that he thought he had loved, the man that he gave his virginity to. He grimaced and tried to play it off cool but he couldn't he felt himself crack and he felt the tears run down his cheeks._

_"Oh look geeky little Connor is crying now, did you really think that I wanted to be with you?"_

_Connor didn't look at him as he responded, "You took me out. You said you wanted me."_

_"Yep, all so I could get into your pants, and It wasn't really worth it. Your horrid in bed."_

_Connor couldn't find it in himself to reply to that, after all, all he could hear were the laughter of all his boyfriends, friends. They didn't care about him and neither did he. He was just another concur, and a bad one at that. Connor hated himself for even feeling that way. So then and there he made himself a promise. 'NO RELATIONSHIPS, He would never go through that again.'_

_When he came home from boarding school he changed. He worked out and he never looked back. He got better and sex and only even topped. He didn't want anyone to ever have that control on him ever again. No matter what he did, he would always tell others that, 'No they aren't in a relationship'. If he was just going to use them, they should know. After graduating he got his eyes corrected and he never looked back. He got his hair cut and styled and he turned himself into the man that had hurt him so much. _

Connor scoffed as he took another swig of his Scotch, that hadn't been the only time that he had relationship issues. Of course there had been times when he thought that it could work and that he could actually do this. Those times ended just as badly as the first. Well if he could count waling in on his partner and some random guy, and even sometimes random girl. Hated, Cheated on, he could even add beaten to the list of things that have gone wrong in his life and relationships.

With another swig Connor slumped further into his couch, If all his relationships had gone so wrong, then why did he hurt so bad when Oliver had left him. Why did it hurt so bad that Oliver wasn't with him? Why, why, why. He didn't understand. He had told himself that he wasn't going to do relationships and every time he broke that promise to himself it always ended up with him getting hurt.

"I don't want to hurt anymore," Connor whispers out.

Only silence come and it is a brutal reality, glaring at him, 'You will always hurt.'

Connor nearly didn't notice the banging on his door, but when he did he let out an animalistic growl.

"Go away Wes, I am fine."

When the banging didn't stop and just seemed to get louder Connor tried to get up to answer the was determined to give Wes hell. Couldn't the man just let him be?

When he finally got to the door he was surprised and a little pissed to not find Wes.

"What the fuck are you doing here," Connor hollered.

It would have to be said that once Connor is drunk he becomes quite emotional, wether it be joy, sadness or anger.

Oliver raises an eyebrow taking a once over of Connor. He wasn't sure what he was suspecting when he told Connor off, but he wasn't expecting this. Tears maybe, or maybe Connor coming to his door pleading with him. But finding him drowning his pains in liquor wasn't something he thought about. Thought part of his way quite happy that he could do this to Connor. He was the reason of the slurred words and reason he drooped forward.

"I am hear for something, I would have thought that much would have been obvious."

Connor rolled his eyes, "Sure, have you come to rub in how well your date went."

Oliver smirked, "No."

Connor grits his teeth, "then what are you doing here?"

A small smile appeared on Oliver's lips and then in a sinful voice he replied, "For you of course."

A sharp crash was heard as Connor drops the scotch that he had been holding. He blinded only barley feeling the liquor soak into his pants, and as he slumped forward Oliver had to reach out to catch him so that he wouldn't fall into the glass.

Oliver sighed, and helped Connor move around the glass and over to the couch. Then he moved back over to the door carefully cleaning up the glass, all the while Connor watches him.

Suddenly Oliver herd soft sniffles and as he turn around he see Connor starring at him with tears in his eyes.

"Why?"

* * *

Yes I just broke Connor more... That being said... I am going to make it better... soon, maybe.


End file.
